Jan Smitowicz (Smih-toe-vitch) is a 31-year-old prison survivor, vegan, longtime activist, and the proud father of an adorable six-year-old vasectomy. His published works include the novels Orange Rain (e-book and paperback) and Redwood Falls, and the narrative nonfiction piece Kiss Me Like You Mean It, about some of his experiences doing volunteer relief work in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Visit his Amazon Author page.
Jan attended the University of California, Irvine—but only when he felt like it. He did manage to secure a Bachelor’s Degree in English Literature and Creative Writing, even though he spent a large portion of his classes writing or reading—in his bedroom. He did Hurricane Katrina relief work in New Orleans on two separate trips; these experiences helped shape much of his worldview. He writes in just about every medium, but literary fiction novels are his main passion. His work is filled with dark, twisted humor, an uncompromising devotion to brutal–even painful–honesty, compelling premises/plots, fascinating characters who are all flawed in deeply human ways, and social justice issues.
His debut novel Orange Rain is a darkly hilarious romp through the dark heart of mid-1980s America; legless veteran Max Wright and his Vietnamese ex-prostitute girlfriend Mai Linh Tranh embark on a wildly bizarre journey for revenge on the loathsome Monsanto Corporation, whose Agent Orange decimated their lives.
“The eco-warriors next door embark on a lightning round of vigilante justice. Orange Rain is what happens when the Monkey Wrench Gang goes Death Wish and moves from the scrubland to the streets. Literature that incites.” -Peter Young, former ALF prisoner, chief editor at Animal Liberation Frontline
The novel was published by small, independent Trebol Press in July 2014. It is available as an e-book and paperback. Not sure yet? CLICK HERE for further details, and to read excerpts from some of the myriad glowing reader reviews.
Jan has been called [sic], “An idiot savant, minus the savant.”

He published his first piece of writing at just 10 years of age. It was a scathing but ultimately retributive examination of his childhood dog Buster. Copies were sold to friends and classmates for $5 apiece in fake money.
The Author was incarcerated for two years from 2010-2012 in Illinois for Possession of x0,000-y0,000 Grams of Cannabis with Intent to Distribute, although he maintains his innocence. Jan does not dispute the fact that he committed the noted offense, yet still maintains his innocence. He also suspects the laboratory equipment used by the state legal system to determine if the cannabis was indeed cannabis was faulty, and his sentence should therefore be overturned post-facto and his two years returned in full, with interest, at a rate to be determined at a hearing which he will likely not feel like attending, and therefore should be set presently at an even 10 percent (accrued daily). Thankfully he’s producing a “badass, crazy memoir” about the experience. It’s a powerful, utterly original book tentatively called, REBEL HELL: DISABLED VEGAN GOES TO PRISON.
Jan has written 6 or 7 complete novels, depending on how you define “complete” and “novels.”
He is the guardian of two dogs, Jaime and Batty (pictured below), two cats, and an albino rattie. He lives among the glorious redwoods in California’s North Coast region with his wife/publicist Andria. Jan is an avid earth-lover. His only problem with nature is that, “There’s just too damn little of it to go around.”
Jan’s writing has appeared in numerous publications, including the Louisiana English Journal, the Earth First! Journal, and Green Theory and Praxis; his narrative nonfiction piece, “Undercover in Dairy Land, CA”–about some of his experiences volunteering as an undercover animal cruelty investigator–was the cover story for The Animals’ Voice magazine in September 2013.
The following is a scale of his mood; the black dot represents where it is on the day you read this, with 0 being Wretched and 10 being Briefly Content:
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(Jan would like to mention here that he’s been uncomfortable writing about himself in the third person, and will try to refrain in the future.)





Hahaha..awesome.
Hi Jan. Thank you for visiting and following HoB. Much appreciated!
No problem, right back atcha! =)
Thank you so much for the visit and following my blog 🙂
It means a lot to me.
~Ankush
My pleasure! <3
🙂
Hey! Thanks for following D’Artagnan! 🙂
Interesting blog!
Thank you for choosing to follow one of my blogs. I hope you will continue to enjoy the posts.
Thank you, right back atcha! =)
Thanks for following! Best of luck with the writing.
-Brett
Thank you, ditto!
Thank you for appearing in my world of blogs and introducing me to your work. Wonderful and amusing, I am looking forward to reading more of your writing
Excellent, thank you!
There is a town nearby that was originally spelled ‘Liticz’ but got changed to ‘Lititz’.
Not sure which is better. Have some family whose has letters of their last name used to be ‘wicz’ but that got changed to ‘witz’ – it’s also debatable if they have any wits…
Good luck with your writing. I’ll book mark your place. Cheers.
Thanks! That’s pretty funny. Also weird about the wicz-witz change, because -witz is pretty much just as “foreign”, and also tends to be a Jewish surname-suffix.
Someone told me the witz part was like son of or from the city of… Language is fun!
Thanks Jan, appreciate the follow. Like your choice of house guests. Welcome to dragonshades.
Thanks, nice to “meet” you as well!
Thank you for following my blog. Greetings for the New Year!
Thank you for following my blog 🙂 I love your piccies!
Thanks! =)
Thanks so much for visiting and following my blog! I appreciate it very much. 😀
Thank you for dropping by and following Malcolm’s Corner.
My pleasure, and thank YOU for visiting! =)
Jan
Tarantino – yes. Dogs – yes. Catch 22 – yes. Struggling writer – oh yes! 🙂
Ha! I think there’s a good chance you’ll dig my writing based on those particular yeses =)
Jan
There’s a good chance that I am encountering a new Neil Gaiman here. Nice meeting you, Jan.
🙂
Interesting…what exactly makes you say that? (And what a compliment, thank you!)
Jan
Pingback: JAN SMITOWICZ | THOUGHTS OF A POET IN THE RAIN
Awesome humor Jan you surely are gifted 🙂
That’s so sweet, thank you!
Jan, many, many thanks for the follow on my own wee blog it is really appreciated. Just let me know if you have any requests or suggestions.Best wishes for a fabulous writing career and may your highs be way taller than the troughs of your lows. MM 🍀
Thanks, right back atcha! =)
Hi Jan, I wanted to thank you for the follow! Please be aware that my blog is a bilingual one. So you may get links to some poems in English as well as to some in Italian… Pictures, on the other hand, have no language barriers 😉
Keep up the good work.
Anna
Thanks, right back atcha! =)
Jan,
Thank you for discovering my photography blog http://www.throughharoldslens.com.
You gave me the opportunity to discover, explore and follow your blog. Hope we both enjoy our journeys.
On behalf of the Through Harold’s Lens Creative Team, my trusty sidekick Mr. SLR Nikon, his brother Mr. Pen Pal and myself, we wish you the best.
Regards,
Harold
Haha, great comment! Thank you as well. Happy trails, and may your creative endeavors be as fulfilling as possible! =)
Thanks for the follow! I look forward to checking out your spot as well!
Ditto =)
AnElephantCant help thinking
This is some crazy stuff you have created
You may be slightly mad
But please don’t be sad
AnElephant thinks sanity is vastly overrated
Haha terrific! Overrated indeed =)
Hi Jan. Thanks for visiting and following my blog. Always nice to meet someone on the internet whose name is similar to mine. 🙂 This is a great bio you have here. You have an irreverent style that I’m sure translates into your fiction. All the best with your forthcoming novels. P.S. Catch-22 is a great book. I don’t however, like rodents (sorry to insult one of your animal-children).
Thanks for the kind words! And yes, the irreverence both translates into and is amplified within my fiction =)
Thanks for following my blog. It looks like I have some reading to do here.
High-larious. Bully!
OMG, you’re human and not self-censored. I think I see you running circles outside of the Cracker Jack box. Don’t stop!
🙂
Why thank you!
Thank you for following Storyteller. — Ray
Hi, you found the blog where I write about photography. If you browse past my last post you found out that the only topic I ever discuss is photography, and I hope thats ok with you.
Now that I know about you I plan on spending some time reading your thoughts to I find out about you.
Writing is writing! 🙂 I’m a photographer as well, so it’s all good.
Thank you for following my blog. You look like you have had an interesting life!
Thank you!
Interesting blog! Thanks so much for the follow. 🙂
Thanks!
Okay, so I loved reading about your life. I’ve watched two movies in the past two days that seem like perfect matches for who you are: Risen, based on a true story about a young male nurse falsely accused of rape and sent to prison for 6 years (and his experiences during that time), and Racing Extinction, a great documentary on what some people are doing to try to stop the senseless mistreatment of animals. I think you’d resonate deeply with both of them. Blessings!
Thanks for the recommendations, and your kind words/comment! If you think my LIFE sounds interesting, wait till you see my FICTION (aka imagination) 😉